So the scale tipped 264lb back in February which sparked a change, a revolution, something primal and spiritual at once inside. Of never again will the scale say 260.
I began my journey of change and transformation on February 26th with a commitment of drinking Shakeology one time a day for 30 days. The changes that happened internally was phenomenal and quite breathtaking. As a former sugar feign stopped craving sugar and processed food altogether. I was the guy who had to add salt to every meal and consumed easily 4-7X the normal Daily Requirement for sodium. And to have those cravings change within one week of drinking Shakeology, simply put was a miracle.
My poor wife just got use to making me "man" portion sizes when that began changing, what I wanted to eat changed, everything was changing inside and even mental how I saw myself. I started getting glimpses of a new man inside. A man who had been their the whole time, but someone I buried in fat and self-hatred and loathing. My visceral fat started to breakdown around my liver and abdominal wall.
Within the 30 days I went from 264.4 to 251.0. 13.4 lbs with just drinking the shakes in the morning and embracing the new diet changes. The funny thing is it wasn't painful or even necessarily difficult to let go of that portion of my life. But I realized I had made a deal with myself that I can allow myself to weigh 250. The fact that I pushed the weight at 260 is was tipped the scale, but I have broken thinking that says as long I as weigh 250 I will be okay.
Well, that needs to change, and change quick. I realized a few days ago that my transferance into the 240lb weight range means that my life is going into another phase of weight loss, its a whole nother pant size down and I am going to fit into several shirts that I haven't been able to wear in the last 7 months.
And when you lose 20lbs people notice, they comment about how good I look. And for some reason that scares me...well use to scare me. Because now I am a different man, with a different mind, living for a different purpose.
I am making the new acceptable weight for my life as 180lbs. So 250lbs, I am breaking past you, and you can't stop me anymore. I am not going to sit by and let me life be robbed by obesity, self-esteem issues, or trying to pretend I am something I am not by letting passive thinking deter me from my destiny.
So beginning today on 04/07/2013 marks a significant shift in my thinking and approach to weight loss and lifestyle management. I have 74.8 lbs to lose to get to my goal weight of 180 lbs. I didn't get to my scary weight of 264.4 overnight, and I know that I am not going to get to my target weight of 180 lbs in the next week. But I am BREAKING PAST 250 into a new acceralrated weightloss, where my body and metabolism works for me and not again me. Where my body looks to burn extra fat and calories.
And I commit to eating a clean diet, and to listen to what my body needs and not eat junk food just to avoid hurting people's feelings.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
So the scale tipped 264lb back in February which sparked a change, a revolution, something primal and spiritual at once inside. Of never again will the scale say 260.
I began my journey of change and transformation on February 26th with a commitment of drinking Shakeology one time a day for 30 days. The changes that happened internally was phenomenal and quite breathtaking. As a former sugar feign stopped craving sugar and processed food altogether. I was the guy who had to add salt to every meal and consumed easily 4-7X the normal Daily Requirement for sodium. And to have those cravings change within one week of drinking Shakeology, simply put was a miracle.
My poor wife just got use to making me "man" portion sizes when that began changing, what I wanted to eat changed, everything was changing inside and even mental how I saw myself. I started getting glimpses of a new man inside. A man who had been their the whole time, but someone I buried in fat and self-hatred and loathing. My visceral fat started to breakdown around my liver and abdominal wall.
Within the 30 days I went from 264.4 to 251.0. 13.4 lbs with just drinking the shakes in the morning and embracing the new diet changes. The funny thing is it wasn't painful or even necessarily difficult to let go of that portion of my life. But I realized I had made a deal with myself that I can allow myself to weigh 250. The fact that I pushed the weight at 260 is was tipped the scale, but I have broken thinking that says as long I as weigh 250 I will be okay.
Well, that needs to change, and change quick. I realized a few days ago that my transference into the 240lb weight range means that my life is going into another phase of weight loss, its a whole nother pant size down and I am going to fit into several shirts that I haven't been able to wear in the last 7 months.
And when you lose 20lbs people notice, they comment about how good I look. And for some reason that scares me...well use to scare me. Because now I am a different man, with a different mind, living for a different purpose.
I am making the new acceptable weight for my life as 180lbs. So 250lbs, I am breaking past you, and you can't stop me anymore. I am not going to sit by and let me life be robbed by obesity, self-esteem issues, or trying to pretend I am something I am not by letting passive thinking deter me from my destiny.
So beginning today on 04/07/2013 marks a significant shift in my thinking and approach to weight loss and lifestyle management. I have 74.8 lbs to lose to get to my goal weight of 180 lbs. I didn't get to my scary weight of 264.4 overnight, and I know that I am not going to get to my target weight of 180 lbs in the next week. But I am BREAKING PAST 250 into a new accelerated weight loss, where my body and metabolism works for me and not again me. Where my body looks to burn extra fat and calories.
And I commit to eating a clean diet, and to listen to what my body needs and not eat junk food just to avoid hurting people's feelings.
So come follow me on this journey of seeing the new man break forth.
I began my journey of change and transformation on February 26th with a commitment of drinking Shakeology one time a day for 30 days. The changes that happened internally was phenomenal and quite breathtaking. As a former sugar feign stopped craving sugar and processed food altogether. I was the guy who had to add salt to every meal and consumed easily 4-7X the normal Daily Requirement for sodium. And to have those cravings change within one week of drinking Shakeology, simply put was a miracle.
My poor wife just got use to making me "man" portion sizes when that began changing, what I wanted to eat changed, everything was changing inside and even mental how I saw myself. I started getting glimpses of a new man inside. A man who had been their the whole time, but someone I buried in fat and self-hatred and loathing. My visceral fat started to breakdown around my liver and abdominal wall.
Within the 30 days I went from 264.4 to 251.0. 13.4 lbs with just drinking the shakes in the morning and embracing the new diet changes. The funny thing is it wasn't painful or even necessarily difficult to let go of that portion of my life. But I realized I had made a deal with myself that I can allow myself to weigh 250. The fact that I pushed the weight at 260 is was tipped the scale, but I have broken thinking that says as long I as weigh 250 I will be okay.
Well, that needs to change, and change quick. I realized a few days ago that my transference into the 240lb weight range means that my life is going into another phase of weight loss, its a whole nother pant size down and I am going to fit into several shirts that I haven't been able to wear in the last 7 months.
And when you lose 20lbs people notice, they comment about how good I look. And for some reason that scares me...well use to scare me. Because now I am a different man, with a different mind, living for a different purpose.
I am making the new acceptable weight for my life as 180lbs. So 250lbs, I am breaking past you, and you can't stop me anymore. I am not going to sit by and let me life be robbed by obesity, self-esteem issues, or trying to pretend I am something I am not by letting passive thinking deter me from my destiny.
So beginning today on 04/07/2013 marks a significant shift in my thinking and approach to weight loss and lifestyle management. I have 74.8 lbs to lose to get to my goal weight of 180 lbs. I didn't get to my scary weight of 264.4 overnight, and I know that I am not going to get to my target weight of 180 lbs in the next week. But I am BREAKING PAST 250 into a new accelerated weight loss, where my body and metabolism works for me and not again me. Where my body looks to burn extra fat and calories.
And I commit to eating a clean diet, and to listen to what my body needs and not eat junk food just to avoid hurting people's feelings.
So come follow me on this journey of seeing the new man break forth.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Beginning: The Hardest Part of Starting
This weekend I had a surprise fishing trip with my father-in-law in the mountains of Oregon this weekend. It was a delightful and yet terrifying trip. I was totally out of my element this weekend trout fishing with the "guys". But I held my own and caught two rainbow trout and even filleted them myself.
I just weighed myself and its the blah 255 today. The hardest part about beginning anything is actually starting. I will admit it, I am afraid to start and just fail again, this time my failure isn't just myself, but it effects my wife, kid, my heart, and people in my sphere of influence.
These last couple of days I have been trying to come to grips with my fears and insecurity, and it feels like for every pound that I am overweight I have something attached to the weight.
Being overweight is effecting my breathing, I am getting winded much easier and stamina is almost non-existent. My joints in my knees and ankles are starting to hurt, I understand now why people who are overweight or obese have a cascading effect of health issues. I am creating a "safety" bubble that is dangerous, unfurling, and robbing me of my life.
I am allowing myself to be filled with mindsets that are not from my Heavenly father and I am not living the life that I am called to live. I am afraid to verbalize these fears to my wife and friends. Even though I know that they are completely on my side, something is telling me otherwise. It is interesting how often I will listen, believe and accept lies in my own life, but I won't tolerate the lies in other people's lives.
I need breakthrough in my life, this is getting to mission critical level.
I just weighed myself and its the blah 255 today. The hardest part about beginning anything is actually starting. I will admit it, I am afraid to start and just fail again, this time my failure isn't just myself, but it effects my wife, kid, my heart, and people in my sphere of influence.
These last couple of days I have been trying to come to grips with my fears and insecurity, and it feels like for every pound that I am overweight I have something attached to the weight.
Being overweight is effecting my breathing, I am getting winded much easier and stamina is almost non-existent. My joints in my knees and ankles are starting to hurt, I understand now why people who are overweight or obese have a cascading effect of health issues. I am creating a "safety" bubble that is dangerous, unfurling, and robbing me of my life.
I am allowing myself to be filled with mindsets that are not from my Heavenly father and I am not living the life that I am called to live. I am afraid to verbalize these fears to my wife and friends. Even though I know that they are completely on my side, something is telling me otherwise. It is interesting how often I will listen, believe and accept lies in my own life, but I won't tolerate the lies in other people's lives.
I need breakthrough in my life, this is getting to mission critical level.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Confronting Reality
Their are times when we know what we ought to do and yet we still don't do it...
I am a classified b-s'er. I will give b-s- about so many areas in my life because mainly I am afraid of change. Of letting go of the negative and embracing the present. I am writing this blog mainly as a self accountability level, and to bring new levels of transparency into my life.
I recently have just turned 27, newly married, currently in college, and have a kid on the way.
The blessing of my wife is huge and has been one of the best things that has happened to my life. Our story is for another post.
Writing is something that we have been both been told we need to do by God, mentors, and random strangers in the grocery stores.
It's scary to write to about the depths of pain, joy, failure, etc. And one of my challenges of a man is being able to open up to about my past. I have gone through some intensives areas of abuse. But with that I have used my past abuse and brokenness to perpetuate into addition areas of brokenness.
God in His perfect timing is giving me the opportunity to walk into a new chapter of my life.
I have struggled with my weight since I was 13 years old. I have used my weight as a shield, and I haven't realized how much I isolate myself from places I don't feel safe or in control.
This last week has been a revelation of how much I am a control freak. One thing I vowed is that I would never be like my dad, the crazy control freak that he was.
Outwardly I seem very easy going, but once you start digging I lock down like a pit bull and you will not get me to budge.
The reason my weight is now being addressed so pointedly is because I am 70lbs over weight weighing at a whooping 253 today. 07/11/12.
I met my friend Ian today, who laid into me about my wife, my health, and my calling. I would have to be a complete idiot to not hear what the Lord is trying to tell me. I want to be able to dad who plays with my kids, and be around for their graduations, marriages, and my grand kids.
One thing that Ian said that just shook my to my core is that their is external safety. I don't know why but that almost made me start to weep in Starbucks. I realized that one of my deepest fears is that I am never truly safe. And the only safe place that I have is inside my own mind, which is a crazy and weird enough place as it is.
I have tried to lose weight before, but as soon as I start making progress and losing the weight. Instead of feeling motivated and excited, I get extremely afraid and feel out of control as people are making comments about my appearance.
I am abusing my spiritual calling by making it a false refuge, hiding in my gifting so I don't have to be holistic man complete in wisdom, strength, and understanding.
To be completely honest I am terrified of letting people into the closets and chests of my heart that contain the lies, secrets, mindsets that have held me back in life.
Yesterday, as I was driving the Lord was speaking to me, I had some revelation.
God: Nate, when do people start shutting down or creating distance?
Me: hmmm...out of the blue question....when I start calling out idols in people's lives. Telling them what they need to quit doing.
God: Do you ever tell them what they are going to gain if they quit worshiping their idols? The benefits of me being close to their heart.
Me: No....
God: What if you quit worrying and being afraid of what your going to lose or be afraid in losing weight, but think of the benefits and long-term good that is going to come out of that.
It was for the joy set before Him that he endured the Cross.
Jesus had the long-term benefit and relational goal that was his internal motivation to keep going to the point of death.
As I lay down control and fear, I don't know whats ahead for me. But I know God's plans are not to harm me, but to prosper me and give me a hope and a calling.
I am a classified b-s'er. I will give b-s- about so many areas in my life because mainly I am afraid of change. Of letting go of the negative and embracing the present. I am writing this blog mainly as a self accountability level, and to bring new levels of transparency into my life.
I recently have just turned 27, newly married, currently in college, and have a kid on the way.
The blessing of my wife is huge and has been one of the best things that has happened to my life. Our story is for another post.
Writing is something that we have been both been told we need to do by God, mentors, and random strangers in the grocery stores.
It's scary to write to about the depths of pain, joy, failure, etc. And one of my challenges of a man is being able to open up to about my past. I have gone through some intensives areas of abuse. But with that I have used my past abuse and brokenness to perpetuate into addition areas of brokenness.
God in His perfect timing is giving me the opportunity to walk into a new chapter of my life.
I have struggled with my weight since I was 13 years old. I have used my weight as a shield, and I haven't realized how much I isolate myself from places I don't feel safe or in control.
This last week has been a revelation of how much I am a control freak. One thing I vowed is that I would never be like my dad, the crazy control freak that he was.
Outwardly I seem very easy going, but once you start digging I lock down like a pit bull and you will not get me to budge.
The reason my weight is now being addressed so pointedly is because I am 70lbs over weight weighing at a whooping 253 today. 07/11/12.
I met my friend Ian today, who laid into me about my wife, my health, and my calling. I would have to be a complete idiot to not hear what the Lord is trying to tell me. I want to be able to dad who plays with my kids, and be around for their graduations, marriages, and my grand kids.
One thing that Ian said that just shook my to my core is that their is external safety. I don't know why but that almost made me start to weep in Starbucks. I realized that one of my deepest fears is that I am never truly safe. And the only safe place that I have is inside my own mind, which is a crazy and weird enough place as it is.
I have tried to lose weight before, but as soon as I start making progress and losing the weight. Instead of feeling motivated and excited, I get extremely afraid and feel out of control as people are making comments about my appearance.
I am abusing my spiritual calling by making it a false refuge, hiding in my gifting so I don't have to be holistic man complete in wisdom, strength, and understanding.
To be completely honest I am terrified of letting people into the closets and chests of my heart that contain the lies, secrets, mindsets that have held me back in life.
Yesterday, as I was driving the Lord was speaking to me, I had some revelation.
God: Nate, when do people start shutting down or creating distance?
Me: hmmm...out of the blue question....when I start calling out idols in people's lives. Telling them what they need to quit doing.
God: Do you ever tell them what they are going to gain if they quit worshiping their idols? The benefits of me being close to their heart.
Me: No....
God: What if you quit worrying and being afraid of what your going to lose or be afraid in losing weight, but think of the benefits and long-term good that is going to come out of that.
It was for the joy set before Him that he endured the Cross.
Jesus had the long-term benefit and relational goal that was his internal motivation to keep going to the point of death.
As I lay down control and fear, I don't know whats ahead for me. But I know God's plans are not to harm me, but to prosper me and give me a hope and a calling.
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